6 things to do when you’re angry & frustrated:

Now we’ve all had those moments, when we’re so hopelessly upset that we don’t know what to do. We’ve explained, and listened and analyzed, and prayed endlessly, and somehow everything still manages to go wrong. Well, life’s like that. Here’s what I do to turn that frown…. well, let’s not get carried away.

I know everybody recommends hitting something, taking your physical anger out of an object rather than a human, but frankly, I’m pretty sure you’ll regret breaking whatever it is your broke/tore/damaged when you’re done with your tantrum.

1. Call someone.
It could be anyone, a friend, neighbor, cousin, schoolfellow – anyone who you can talk to and just vent your frustrations on. I’ve found that in moments like this, you don’t necessarily need active feedback, sometimes you just need to rant. Also, it’s not always necessary that this person be your best friend/closest confidant. This rant-it-all-out method works equally well with slight acquaintances (Note: This blog and its writer are not responsible for any consequences that unloading your life’s drama on to a random stranger may have.)

2. Clean
Housewives around the world will agree with this. Bree Van de Camp will smile as she reads this. When things go awry with the husband and kids, grab a sponge and start scrubbing. In no time, your frustration will have brought the floors to a shine. It’s almost like magic. Of course, housewives could take the alternate route – not cleaning as a sign of rebellion. This negativity may lead to further issues, so it’s not very fool-proof.

3. Draw
You don’t have to be the next da Vinci. Grab a pencil (I prefer crayons – scribbling in red really soothes the angry soul) and just start scrawling onto a piece of paper. It doesn’t even have to be a coherent picture. Let your art be ‘abstract’ as you stab at the paper. Who knows, you might actually end up with something pretty.

See how chilled out she looks? THAT’S what we’re aiming for.

4. Put on Makeup
Don’t laugh. It helps! Lay out your tools – brushes, pots, palettes, creams – as if you’re going to perform open-heart surgery. Pull your hair back and evaluate yourself. Go through the steps with care, prep, prime and press. The precision and attention to detail required in properly applying foundation, bronzer, blush, and eye shadow will definitely take your mind off the negative and keep you busy. Plus it never hurts to look pretty. (You’ll probably end up smiling as you turn your face this way and that, checking to see how good the makeup looks.)

5. Go shopping
No, don’t run to the shoe store (unless you’re mad at your husband and want to spend all his money). Make a list of all the errands you need to run, all the groceries you need to buy – anything that gets you away from your source of conflict. A change of environment is the first step to preventing further agitation. Also, driving requires you to remain focused and vigilant on the road, which is likely to get your mind off whatever’s bothering you. By the time you’re done ticking the point off your list, not only will you feel like you’ve accomplished something, but you’ll also actually have gotten some important work done.

6. Listen to Music
Some may wish to replace this with listening to audio books, religious material, etc. There’s nothing wrong with that. If you don’t listen to music, try something else. The main idea is to have a low-involvement activity that lets your mind drift off, or engages you in some active thought. Some people listen to hard metal screamo music when they’re angry, some listen to Beethoven.  To each his own.

So what do you do when you’re angry?

14 thoughts on “6 things to do when you’re angry & frustrated:

  1. I say some crazy things in my head. Things i know i shouldent say out loud. Then i ball up my fist and punch something, anything that wont destroy my hand. Next, depending on were i am. I will get a treat if i can, like candy, or maybe my favorite brand of chips. Last, i either listen to music from my ipod, phone or youtube on my computer. Or i will play my own music with my piano or guitar. And i’ll sing random lyrics describing the frustrating situation and describing how i feel, and how i will solve it! All of these tend to work. Sadly, i have to do them often. I have frustrating, nerve bending, and neck straining
    people that sorround my life. And it doesnt help to be easily frustrated as well!!!

  2. Reading a good book also has a calming effect.

    @ Yousaf Rafi – men can clean their messy rooms, shop in electronics/ music places, and i have now seen many ‘salons’ for men in Pakistan so maybe they can ‘mess up’ their hair.

  3. lol wow amazing blog…. as indiajones said most of it is for women but best thing in reading is we can extract what’s good and forget whats for for us… so in this case 1) and 3) are for guys… call a friend, hmmm good idea… call a friend because he/she won’t mind listening to your rubbish :p …. 3) drawing …. that’s a great idea… I mean most of the people are creative when they are angry… so this might produce an idea… :)) rest is for women…..

    by the way loved your blog… keep it up!!!

  4. Try to quickly dissociate from all humans. If I’m successful at doing that, I usually regain composure within 5 -10 minutes. Otherwise, things can get out of control :p. But I guess it really depends on the ‘type’ of anger. Built up anger/frustration requires radically different measures than the form of anger induced by a sudden event.

  5. Great Blog, though it seemed to be rather women-oriented ( putting on make-up, going shopping, etc ). To put it in your style, nothing wrong with that, hope no one excluded.
    Coming to music, would say that Abida Parveen, Mehdi Hasan or Jagjit Singh may do the trick faster than Beethoven.
    Would like to add some maybe simpler solutions: drink a few glasses of water; count one to hundred.

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